First Entry
Mood:  not sure
Earlier today i was encouraging my daughter to start a blog. She loves to write, and i thought she would enjoy the web interface as a vehicle to express her pre teen thoughts about life. Then she asked me if i had a blog. I told her she is the writer. I told her she would have more to write about than i ever would. After thinking about it though its possible i might have something to say too.
I once read somewhere from a well known philosopher and thinker that a man who concurs himself is the greatest achievement. The older I get and the more i struggle with my own short comings and character flaws, the more i realize how very true that statement is. I think i have some pre conceived disposition to self destruct. Why is this? When you have things that are good and great, when you have built exactly what you imagined, why would you tend to behave in a manner that would destroy it all? The good news is, I am on to this. I realize that its not getting what you want, its keeping it.

My father gave me some advice a short time ago. I will reveal his story in a later entry. He said a good thing to do is simplify your life. He also said that if you were to make a list of all the good things in your life and focus on those you will be better off. I believe this is true. Its really not about getting what you want but rather wanting what you have. I really need to work on myself. Self control, discipline, not being so self centered.

So, join me in my quest to concur myself. The following entries will be my thoughts and progress on exactly that. I have a substance abuse problem that i struggle with daily. And, not that one substance is any better to abuse than another, but mine is not crack or heroin or boose. Its prescription pain killers. I tend to take too many , too often. This really gets in the way of my life otherwise and it takes up way too much of my thinking time. I do not intend on making this a sort of journal of an addict but rather a struggle to concur ones self including much more than my addiction problem. Fatherhood, being a husband, being a professional, and planning for a benevolent future for all is included in the quest for self control and happiness.